Mitigated Accomplishments

My newest cause

2009-07-11T16:37:00.002-04:00

I want to get serious for a second;

There is a scourge sweeping the nation, please sign my petition to help end the terror of this horrible epidemic http://www.thepetitionsite.com/5/ban-dihydrogen-monoxide-in-our-drinking-water . Go here for all the facts http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html.

Let's end this TOGETHER!

Due to Unpopular Demand

2009-03-19T19:46:00.006-04:00

here is an old one, but it has been bothering me;10 Things You Should Never Say to a Rock Chick , I would like to add one: "are you aware that you cannot make good rock music 'cause you are not a dude?" That was just a quickie.

Meat and taters: hooked on this site, whoops, not that one. I disavow any knowledge of liking to that (despite it being adorable). This is the site, I wish I had got there first. Regrettably I am left with this tripe.

Also; Twitter. Twitter has apparently exploded. My twitter feed gets about 8000 updates a day, about 4 thousand are from people with "10 ways to get better twitter ratings" or "10 apps to make twitter perfect". Fuck you. Then there is the 3990 other tweets from people I don't know, they aren't following me so they can't see my replies or pleas for them to shut the fuck up.

A couple responses to these morons.
"No your cat isn't anorexic, you are retarded."
"Who are you and why does your blog suck so fierce?"
"you aren't gamers, you suck, if you didn't have tits no one would love you, not even your fathers."
@mickipedia: "I love you, please have my babies."
@Agent_M: "Do you ever work, shit, even my boss noticed how much you twitter in a day."
@Zadi: "Please, answer my letters! Raise the restraining order! Have my BABIES!"
@ICHCheezBurger: "I love you and your adorableness."

High Speed & IQ Exams

2009-02-11T21:10:00.003-05:00

I think the kid at BestBuy should be legally obligated to administer an IQ test whenever anyone between the ages of 11 and 27 and the ages of 45-79 (and anyone that is grossly overweight and appears to live with their mother in theri 30's), comes into buy a webcam.

I'm reading the guy's livejournal and spy half naked girls, and in the interest of seeing every thing even loosely related to pornography I click through. And there they are, dancing around in skimpy little outfits to a mildly annoying song.

I don't know why they are doing it, I don't know why they have over sized tinfoil covered box covering their faces, I don't know if they took turns writing on each other's thighs (I can dream though), I don't know what pleasure they could derive from doing this, except the disgusting satisfaction of knowing that at least one guy has now popped one out, one guy just found out he was into some shit, and one guy just realized he should have went to college because of watching this.

I am hooked though (I have watched it seven time in a row already, notice the girl on the left appears to be a dancer, she points her toes better and does a little wave thing with her hand), one random weird video is a nice way to break-up the day. These two chicks, these two dudes, a rugby team (?), Simpsons, strippers, a second version from the rugby team, and the list goes on. The question has to be asked; why are these people allowed to be on the internet?

Why The Fuck Not?

2009-02-08T23:29:00.000-05:00

I am trolling the internet, looking for pictures of half naked hotties to add to my ever growing masturbation log, the other day and I end up on facebook.com using "Are You Interested" and stumbled across a smoking, half-naked hottie all primped in poised in her photo, joyiously I click the wonderful button of "Yes: Let them know", she clicks "yes" back! A match is made. I quickly get to her profile to be deflated by a link to another site, on a whim, I try the link promising "amazing pictures that I don't want my friends to see".

After thirty nano-seconds searching through the ugo's profiles on that site I decide life might be better spent not masturbating constantly and head over to Digg, which just reminds me the site used to be good. I click through a couple stories, such riveting articles as this or this and this led me to believe that maybe I could just give a fuck what the majority of people think is news worthy.

"Perhaps I need to read a trusted source for information, one person's opinion on what is happening in this world", I thought to my self. I hit up Tucker's site, just to see if it has been updated (it hasn't). I check his Related Blogs, lame. As riveting as watermelon bowl helmets are I think I just might be in a different stage of my life then that. "Maybe Blogzarro has been updated", I think to myself next. Nope, and they still have that lame ass shopped picture of a lion on a horse, Cracked'll save me from boredom I figure. A couple cute stories. Nothing to write about.

Then it hit me.

"Why the fuck can't I do that?" I am just as underinformed as any web content write. I have ridiculously unfounded opinions on all sorts of shit no one else cares about, and why shouldn't I force my opinions down other people's throats?

So here we are.

Weekly content about things that have annoyed me, pissed me off, perplexed me, or any other tripe that I want to drool out on to the keyboard. Gonna get a twitter feed and last.fm account set-up so you can be uptodate minute to minute with my mundane boring life and musical taste. My facebook and facebook group will give you a place to hang out with other losers and talk about how amazing I am while waiting for my twitter feeds to breathe a little life into your shallow existence.

Aren't you excited? I am excited...